While Old Maid U loves to focus on the great things you can do in your life, some things simply have to be met head on whether you like it or not. As we head into deep winter, many of the elderly and even the youth die. The writer of this section is going to digress into first person just to make a few points.

Over the last few weeks, I have witnessed around me a friend's grandchild die at the age of three months of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), another's adopted mother being found dead in her home, the babysitter of many years dying unexpectedly, and another friend's quiet vigil as someone she knows slips into a coma.

Each of us approaches death differently. Each instance of death affects us on various levels. As I try to comfort those who are experiencing now, I have to reflect on my encounters with it. I know what it is like to awaken in a hospital and be told your mother is dead. I know what it is like to look into the eyes of the son of a man who was your friend and lover and know the father would never come through the door again.....to issue the order for no code blue and no crash cart for my father....for a friend to die in his sleep at the age of 23....for a cousin to be gunned down by her ex-boyfriend. The list goes on.

Now you are probably asking "How does this help me with my bereavement?" Here are ten things to do or realize

1. Know first that you will get through it even though now you feel overwhelmed

2. Realize that you may become very angry with the person for leaving you.

3. Do you feel the need to cry? Then - CRY!

4. Do you want to scream? Then - SCREAM!

5. Express yourself! Call a friend.

6. Admit that you are hurting.

7. Talk about the loss with someone.

8. Pay extra attention to yourself now. Pamper yourself.

9. Remember the good times and the bad times that you had with that person.

10.Think about what they would want you to be doing with your life now that they are gone.